it might just all be a facade

Friday, June 29, 2007;

♥ 6/29/2007 05:27:00 AM

If we meet each other under a different sky
Maybe things would be much better between you and i>>

MY CHEMISTRY TEST IS SCREWED UP.
AND MY ANKLE'S HURTING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. Im hate my injury.
):

By the way, i think im confirm going for the three weeks china trip alr. =l
'Cos we are supposed to be responsible and stick with going, if not someone else must replaced us.
So im stuck with going i guess. I mean, who else in the right mind would go china for three weeks? Yeah, im not in the right mind. =l

I found out that almost every other satuardays, i'll be down for redcross hq events.
Anyways, to end off my post, i see the weekends approaching! :D

we both know
it's better if we just let it go;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007;

♥ 6/27/2007 06:13:00 AM

There's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know
Its your heart you cant trust
There's a reason
Why people dont stay where they are
'Cos baby sometimes
Love just aint enough>>

Hello breathing creatures at the other side of the computer screen.

Im suffocating from the pressure and stress that my teachers and parents are giving. ):

And goodness gracious me, this is only JC1! ):

Im feeling demoralised over pw. We thought we were close to finish, then our ST came over. Ugh.

Hey, yknow your position/status? Its one i was aiming for. Its one which i thought belongs to me. Its one which i felt that i dont even need to fight or run for it. Cos i thought it's rightfully mine.
And then, a painful truth hit me. You reach that position before me, and now, it's yours. No longer mine..

why do i always wait til i lost something

then i realised its worth;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, June 24, 2007;

♥ 6/24/2007 07:26:00 AM

Everybody got smth
They had to leave behind
One regret from ytd
That just seems to grow with time>>

Goodness! I just had my most boring weekend ever! ):
I went out with my family, and my cousins and my aunties and my grandparents. We went to some place to get my cousin's wedding stuff. And they spent a total of 3 hours in the shop. Okay, fine. I shouldnt complain, since im lucky be in an airconditioned place is such a ~~damn~~ hot weather.
But hey! Its was seriously a bore. ):
In the end, my bro and i went to the swings and started sitting down under the hot sun. If i sat there for a little longer, i think i'll get aother tan soon. Ha!
So, all in all. I was out since 10 in the morning, and i only got home after 5. And i swear it was a total waste of my time! Bummer.

By the way, im really pissed off with my windows live messenger. ): It always hangs, and loves to die on me whenever im having a convo with my friends. Plus, it would suddenly get disconnected.
Weird stuff.
And my internet connection is dying too. I dunno whats wrong with it since im like, a complete idiot with IT stuff. Pfft!
And stinks, school's starting soon. ):

even though i pretend that ive moved on
you'll always be my baby;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Friday, June 22, 2007;

♥ 6/22/2007 07:20:00 AM

I used to think, i have the answers to everything
But now i know, that life doesnt always go my way
Feels like im caught in the middle
Thats when i realised>>

Sometimes, i cant help but agree with the saying 'Time changes everything'.
In fact, it has the ability to make almost everything fade away. Like respect, love and even friendships. And of course, people change with time.
For example : you. Im not sure if youre the one i know in the past. Remember the promises we made with each other? About being forever close friends? That we'll always always be there for each other no matter what. That we're just a msg/call away from each other. That no matter where and when, our friendship will still remain this strong and firm. Have you forgotten? Or those were just simply paper promises? ):
Im sad not because we dont talk as often. But because, you seemed to change. And i guess, me too. We no longer say hi in school, we no long meet up and watch movie and chat, we no longer call each other and msg each other til our bills are sky high. All these wonderful moments suddenly seemed to be nothing but just some unrealistic stuff. And it gets me really upset. ): Really.
Im still hanging onto this wish: That we'll still get back to the 'us' afew months backs. The 'us' who could go so high and crazy, the 'us' who could talk on phone for hours and never feel tired, the 'us' who would watch movies after movies, and simply, the 'us'. Just the close and bestest 'us'.

On a lighter note, ive finally finished my part for pw. (: Its just like typing another proposal.
Oooh, i hate that word, as much as i love it. Im sure redcross people will understand what i mean by this. (:
And.
I miss my brother! He's having sleepover and i miss having him around at home. ): So i wont feel so lonely without him always bugging me and getting on my nerves. But i must say, my brother is really nice! He piggybacks me! Oh yes he do! (: Haha. And he lets me sit on his lap, he lets me bully him too! :D
Eh what! Im not too bad a sister too okay. I bring food and nice things for him! (: I'll buy/cook/make breakfast for him, and i always buy his share of icecream. (: Im a good sister, other than the times when i shouted at him. =l

Anyways. I miss you, my little irritating yet adorable brother!

all i need is time
a moment that is mine
while im in between;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007;

♥ 6/20/2007 07:01:00 AM

): Im in a gosh, i cant explain kinda mood.
Ive been flopping thru my old diaries and reading up my really olddd stinkyyy mails. And the memories just flood back.
Be it, the happy and crazy times i was with my sec sch friends, the really nice and heartwarming times i was with my redcross peers, the joy i had enjoyed in the past few years, or the heartbreaking moments i had, and the time i spent on the recovery road with the help and support of my many many adorable friends.
I miss it all. ):
Everything.
(Yeah, even if its stressing over O lvl and mugging over the papers. At least i have many familiar faces around me in learn @ fairfield/ queensway lib whenever we studied! )

Is it both of us, or is it just me? Why did i ever let smth so precious slip by me? And i know, this time it wont return. Im sorry i took this long to understand, and im sorry for all the tears and upsetness. Including this invisible wall.

I just finished my research on pw and finished the whole survey. Goodness. Have i ever officially declared my hatred for PW? Okay, maybe i did. But definitely not on my blog. Now i am.
PW IS SERIOUSLY THE MOST BORING AND LAME AND STUPID AND DUMB SUBJECT. AND ALL JC1S ARE FORCED TO TAKE IT. PLUS, IT IS INCLUDED IN A LVL OKAYYYY. ):
Okay, yeah. My views, my thoughts. (:

Btw, this is the last week of the jun hols. And i need to be in school almost everyday! cept for wed, and now. My only precious 'free day' will be robbed away, by pw meeting.
SOBS.

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, June 17, 2007;

♥ 6/17/2007 07:04:00 AM

And where on earth were you
when you were needed the most>>

On friday, i went tiong to get my beloved friend a small bday cake before meeting her at long johns. Next, we headed towards town, and went to the john little sale. After which, we had sushi for lunch. We left at around 4plus, i went home to put down the bags and stuff before going pizza hut to have dinner with the girls.
Oh dear, im growing so so fattttt. ):
And i just had 4 chocolate waffle biscuits.
Oh noooo. ):

Anyways, i realised the time on the phone is near to accurate.
It's just 2 seconds slower. (:

hey, i just wish i could hit that 'restart' button of my life;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Thursday, June 14, 2007;

♥ 6/14/2007 10:47:00 AM

I hate the weather. And im sure it hates me too. >>

I woke up late, wasnt feeling exactly well, and i spent a really long time bathing. So, i boarded the bus to school this morning, jolly well knowing that i'll be late for class. Then, i started making plans on what to do, if i were to just take a bus home instead of going lessons. Yada, yada, yada. In the end, i just skipped the whole bio class.
Okay, in my mind i went 'might as well just go home la. 3 hours of lessons, which im definitely not gonna learn anything. She's just gonna stand in front of the class like some answer booklet and us, like some dummies, copying down every word/ans she said.'
):
Is this really me?
In the past, or even in pjc. I would feel guilty and even sad that i skip lessons. And goodness, in sec sch, i wouldnt even dream about missing lesson! Okay, maybe in pj, i do. But that's all because the class does nth but slp in h1 bio class and does nth but dream in math mass lecture. And now, im happily skipping a whole damn 3 hour bio tutorial. ): The worst thing, i dont even feel guilty or sad or whatsoever.
As a matter of fact, im changing, ever since i got my damn butt into jjc. ): Some part of me are changing for the btr, the rest, for the worse.

Okay, im just ranting.
But, it's still true. In fact, i dont seem to feel for anything now. Maybe, just the joy whenever i have gatherings or dates with my old friends. Other than that, nothing.
It's so bad, to the extent that im just waiting for the time to past asap, and i can finally escape from this horrible world. ):
Really.

when everything's meant to be broken
i just want you to know who i am;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007;

♥ 6/12/2007 08:12:00 AM

Youre gone and wont return,
just like i took a terribly wrong turn.
I cant get out, im really lost,
but then i know, love cant be forced.
Go on go, walk out of that door,
turn around, i dont want you to see me fall.
I though this love was forever,
never would i know, it died out like fire.
Im sad, im disappointed,
but what should i do, when im all hurt.
Baby you know,
sometimes its really wrong.
To turn and walk away so suddenly,
though you think its over, like finally.
'Cos theres still so much i dontunderstand,
theres still questions you must explain.
Nah, too late for me.
Youre already gone, like the wind.
All these time ive been under your wings,
but now you left, just like youre having a fling.
I gotta adapt on my oyn,
i gotta rely on my own.
'Cos for now i know,
you, my darling, wont come home.
All these haunting memories stuck in my mind,
pushed me to and edge, i wish i could die.
Time spent with you is luxury.
You face, smile and love stay printed in my galaxy.
What really hurt is the truth, that is true.
Truth it: I loved you, and i still do.

I found this old poem that i did in year 2005.

Whenever im sad and really troubled and frustrated, i'll vent it all out by either shouting into my pillow, or simply takin a piece of paper and doodling down all my thoughts and stuff.

I did afew more other poems too, and i kept them all in a file, and placed it in a box with all the other soft toys and gifts he gave me. (:

Sometimes, when i feel that hey! im over it! Something inside me will sink, and something heavy will put me down again. I dunno, guess it's all in the mind. =l

Oh anyways, went for ulp2007 campfire ytd. Mel and evelyn taught me afew 'bimbo-tic' cheers. One of which goes like this :
Loser, hello hello.
Get a grip.
Get over it.
Poser, stylo my-lo
Get a grip.
Im over it.

Oh ya! My diary, and desk calendar and handphone calender are reminding me that it's benjamin's birthday today. But the problem is, i know bejamin quek, yeap, tan and wong. Haha, so i dunno who to wish happy birthday. Oh noooo. ):

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Thursday, June 07, 2007;

♥ 6/07/2007 06:07:00 AM

I'll be havin jtc tmr, til sat.
In fairfield! (: My good ol' fairfield.

Say, more than 80% of the camps ive attended are all about redcross.
Amongst them, my fave were sdc04, fdcomp camp05 and jtc06. :D
South district camp 04 was the first camp i went thru and got me to know more people from other units. (: Plus, the people who went were the people whom i always hang around with in fmssrcy! People like, enshao hidayat brandon yunxing nirma yuanhao. Tell me, how fun is fun. (:
Fd comp camp 05 was really great, simply cos the whole fd comp squad went thru the camp as a whole. We drilled like mad, and we had fun like mad too. (: Ooh! I love the bonds made, i love the friendships forged, whats more, i love the individuals for who they are. (:
Then comes jtc 06. Yeah, although there were many hiccups during the preparations, and the exco strength will down to 7, instead of the initial 10. But hey, the camp was awesome. (: I like the way we execute things smoothly without any much miscommunication, i like the way we show our concern openly for one another, i like the way we look around the school for a place to slp and in the end sleeping in the basketball court. It was such an awesome camp, we had fun serving and leading the unit. I like my batch! (: And i love my exco. :D

Smth in random, i just spoke to mr spastic online. Its been sooo longggg! :D And he's still as retarded and mean and horrible as ever!

The teenage guide to popularity says:
hey

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
hello

The teenage guide to popularity says:
i hate you

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
AWH!

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
):

The teenage guide to popularity says:
hows sch?

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
stinks.

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
just like you.

The teenage guide to popularity says:
wow

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
hows school?

The teenage guide to popularity says:
sucks

The teenage guide to popularity says:
just like you

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
):

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
coming for campfire?

The teenage guide to popularity says:
when?

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
fri night

The teenage guide to popularity says:
cool

The teenage guide to popularity says:
wad campfire izzit for?

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
jtc haha

The teenage guide to popularity says:
oh

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
yup

The teenage guide to popularity says:
whos going?

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
me!

wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com says:
thats the most impt

The teenage guide to popularity says:
most impt person to avoid

The teenage guide to popularity says:
=)

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, June 02, 2007;

♥ 6/02/2007 06:07:00 AM

Hit my shoulder, and you'll get a slap in return.
Anyways, heres the photos taken on thurs, day out at sentosa. (:

Joa took this and she said this has a touch of emo-ism. Haha!
I went out with

Joaquina!

Amanda!

Sarah!

And myself! :D

Joa took this. Eewks! ):

Our names!

I like this photo of manda and joa.

Goody friend and myself.

Myself, manda and sarah.

We like vivo's toilet!

Blurred group photo. (:
And yeah! I'm happy cos i got my tan and i enjoyed thurs! (:
I'm sad cos my sunburnt is really painful. ): SOBS.
Still, hey! I'm waitin to go WWW! :D :D :D

Oh ya! I took this really funny photo of bryan today. But he refused to let me post online, so being nice. I shant. But hey! Bryan chuang, rmbr ive got smth to blackmail you with now. :D

Weird, now that it's the hols. Why is the weekends approaching so fast? =l

/ we're like total strangers living on this earth. ):

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.